HOW THE WHALE GOT HIS
THROAT -
BY RUDYARD KIPLING
IN the sea, once upon
a time, O my Best Beloved, there was a Whale, and he ate fishes. He ate the
starfish and the garfish, and the crab and the dab, and the plaice and the
dace, and the skate and his mate, and the mackerel and the pickerel, and the
really truly twirly-whirly eel. All the fishes he could find in all the sea he
ate with his mouth--so! Till at last there was only one small fish left in all
the sea, and he was a small 'Stute Fish, and he swam a little behind the
Whale's right ear, so as to be out of harm's way. Then the Whale stood up on
his tail and said, 'I'm hungry.' And the small 'Stute Fish said in a small
'stute voice, 'Noble and generous Cetacean, have you ever tasted Man?'
'No,' said the Whale.
'What is it like?'
'Nice,' said the small
'Stute Fish. 'Nice but nubbly.'
'Then fetch me some,'
said the Whale, and he made the sea froth up with his tail.
'One at a time is
enough,' said the 'Stute Fish. 'If you swim to latitude Fifty North, longitude
Forty West (that is magic), you will find, sitting _on_ a raft, _in_ the middle
of the sea, with nothing on but a pair of blue canvas breeches, a pair of
suspenders (you must not_ forget the suspenders, Best Beloved), and a
jack-knife, one shipwrecked Mariner, who, it is only fair to tell you, is a man
of infinite-resource-and-sagacity.'
So the Whale swam and
swam to latitude Fifty North, longitude Forty West, as fast as he could swim,
and _on_ a raft, _in_ the middle of the sea, _with_ nothing to wear except a
pair of blue canvas breeches, a pair of suspenders (you must particularly
remember the suspenders, Best Beloved), _and_ a jack-knife, he found one
single, solitary shipwrecked Mariner, trailing his toes in the water. (He had
his mummy's leave to paddle, or else he would never have done it, because he
was a man of infinite-resource-and-sagacity.)
Then the Whale opened
his mouth back and back and back till it nearly touched his tail, and he
swallowed the shipwrecked Mariner, and the raft
he was sitting on, and
his blue canvas breeches, and the suspenders (which you _must_ not forget),
_and_ the jack-knife--He swallowed them
all down into his
warm, dark, inside cupboards, and then he smacked his lips--so, and turned
round three times on his tail.
But as soon as the
Mariner, who was a man of infinite-resource-and-sagacity, found himself truly
inside the Whale's warm, dark, inside cupboards, he stumped and he jumped and
he thumped and he bumped, and he pranced and he danced, and he banged and he clanged,
and he hit and he bit, and he leaped and he creeped, and he prowled and he
howled, and he hopped and he dropped, and he cried and he sighed, and he
crawled and he bawled, and he stepped and he lepped, and he danced hornpipes
where he shouldn't, and the Whale felt most unhappy indeed. (_Have_ you
forgotten the suspenders?) with his infinite-resource-and-sagacity, and the
raft and the jack-knife _and_ his suspenders, which you must _not_ forget. The
buttony-things
are the Mariner's
suspenders, and you can see the knife close by them.
He is sitting on the
raft, but it has tilted up sideways, so you don't see much of it. The whity
thing by the Mariner's left hand is a piece of wood that he was trying to row
the raft with when the Whale came along.
The piece of wood is
called the jaws-of-a-gaff. The Mariner left it outside when he went in. The
Whale's name was Smiler, and the Mariner was called Mr. Henry Albert Bivvens,
A.B. The little 'Stute Fish is hiding under the Whale's tummy, or else I would
have drawn him. The reason that the sea looks so ooshy-skooshy is because the
Whale is sucking it all into his mouth so as to suck in Mr. Henry Albert
Bivvens and the raft and the jack-knife and the suspenders. You must never forget
the suspenders.
So he said to the
'Stute Fish, 'This man is very nubbly, and besides he is making me hiccough.
What shall I do?'
'Tell him to come
out,' said the 'Stute Fish.
So the Whale called
down his own throat to the shipwrecked Mariner, 'Come out and behave yourself.
I've got the hiccoughs.' 'Nay, nay!' said the Mariner. 'Not so, but far
otherwise. Take me to my natal-shore and the white-cliffs-of-Albion, and I'll
think about it.'
And he began to dance
more than ever.
'You had better take
him home,' said the 'Stute Fish to the Whale. 'I ought to have warned you that
he is a man of infinite-resource-and-sagacity.'
HERE is the Whale
looking for the little 'Stute Fish, who is hiding under the Door-sills of the
Equator. The little 'Stute Fish's name was Pingle. He is hiding among the roots
of the big seaweed that grows in front of the Doors of the Equator. I have
drawn the Doors of the Equator. They are shut. They are always kept shut,
because a door
ought always to be
kept shut. The ropy-thing right across is the Equator itself; and the things
that look like rocks are the two giants Moar and Koar, that keep the Equator in
order. They drew the shadow-pictures on the doors of the Equator, and they
carved all those twisty fishes under the Doors. The beaky-fish are called
beaked Dolphins, and the other fish with the queer heads are called
Hammer-headed Sharks. The Whale never found the little 'Stute Fish till he got
over his temper, and then they became good friends again.
So the Whale swam and
swam and swam, with both flippers and his tail, as hard as he could for the
hiccoughs; and at last he saw the Mariner's natal-shore and the
white-cliffs-of-Albion, and he rushed half-way up the beach, and opened his
mouth wide and wide and wide, and said, 'Change here for Winchester, Ashuelot,
Nashua, Keene, and stations on the _Fitch_burg Road;' and just as he said
'Fitch' the Mariner walked out of his mouth. But while the Whale had been
swimming, the Mariner, who was indeed a person of
infinite-resource-and-sagacity, had taken his jack-knife and cut up the raft
into a little square grating all running criss-cross, and he had tied it firm
with his suspenders (_now_ you know why you were not to forget the
suspenders!), and he dragged that grating good and tight into the Whale's
throat, and there it stuck! Then he recited the following _Sloka_, which, as
you have not heard it, I will now proceed to relate--
By means of a grating
I have stopped your ating.
For the Mariner he was
also an Hi-ber-ni-an. And he stepped out on the shingle, and went home to his
mother, who had given him leave to trail his toes in the water; and he married
and lived happily ever afterward.
So did the Whale. But
from that day on, the grating in his throat, which he could neither cough up
nor swallow down, prevented him eating anything except very, very small fish;
and that is the reason why whales nowadays never eat men or boys or little
girls.
The small 'Stute Fish
went and hid himself in the mud under the Door-sills of the Equator. He was
afraid that the Whale might be angry with him.
The Sailor took the
jack-knife home. He was wearing the blue canvas breeches when he walked out on
the shingle. The suspenders were left behind, you see, to tie the grating with;
and that is the end of _that_ tale.
WHEN the cabin port-holes are dark
and green
Because of the seas outside;
When the ship goes _wop_ (with a
wiggle between)
And the steward falls into the soup-tureen,
And the trunks begin to slide;
When Nursey lies on the floor in a
heap,
And Mummy tells you to let her sleep,
And you aren't waked or washed or
dressed,
Why, then you will know (if you
haven't guessed)
You're 'Fifty North and Forty West!'
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