THE ARABIAN NIGHTS TALES OF 1001 NIGHTS Part -9

 

Morning now dawned and Shahrazad broke off from what she had been allowed to say. Then, when it was the twenty-sixth night, SHE CONTINUED:

 

    I have heard, O auspicious king, that THE YOUNG MERCHANT TOLD THE CHRISTIAN:

 

    When I entered and sat down, before I knew it, the lady had come forward, ornamented with henna and wearing a crown studded with pearls and other gems. When she saw me, she smiled at me, hugged me to her breast, and setting her mouth on mine she started to suck my tongue as I sucked hers. `Have you really come to me?' she said. `I am your slave,' I replied. She said: `You are welcome. From the day that I saw you, I have enjoyed neither sleep nor food.' `It is the same with me,' I told her, and we sat and talked, while I kept my head bent downwards out of bashfulness. It was not long before she produced a meal with the most splendid of foods, ragouts, and meats fried with honey, together with stuffed chickens. We both ate until we had had enough and the servants then brought me a bowl and a jug. I washed my hands and we used musk-infused rosewater to perfume ourselves, after which we sat talking. She then recited these lines:

 

    Had I known of your coming, I would have spread out

    My heart's blood and the pupils of my eyes.

    I would have strewn my cheeks to welcome you,

    So that you might have walked on my eyelids.

 

    She kept telling me of her sufferings, while I told her of mine, and her love had so strong a grip on me that all my wealth was as nothing beside it. We then started to play, dallying with each other and exchanging kisses until nightfall. At this point, the maids produced us a complete meal with food and wine, and we drank until midnight, when we went to bed. I slept with her until morning, and never in my life have I experienced a night like that. In the morning I got up and threw the kerchief with the dinars under the bed for her. I then said goodbye and went out, leaving her in tears. `Sir,' she said, `when shall I see this handsome face again?' `I shall be with you in the evening,' I replied.

 

    When I left, I met the donkey man who had brought me there the day before. He was standing at the door waiting for me and so I got on the donkey and went with him to Khan Masrur, where I dismounted and gave him half a dinar. `Come at sunset,' I told him, and he agreed. I then had breakfast and went out to collect the money for my goods. I prepared a roast lamb for the lady and took some sweetmeats, after which I summoned a porter, put the food in his basket and paid him his hire, before going back to my own affairs, tending to them until sunset. The donkey man turned up, and taking fifty dinars in a kerchief, I went to the lady's house, where I found that the servants had washed down the marble, polished the brass, filled the lamps and lit the candles, as well as making ready the food and straining the wine.

 

    When the lady saw me, she threw her arms around my neck and said: `You left me desolate.' The meal was then produced and we ate our fill, after which the maids cleared away the table and brought out the wine. We went on drinking until midnight, and then we went to the bedroom and slept until morning. Then I got up, gave her the fifty dinars as before and left. The donkey man was there and I rode to the khan, where I slept for an hour. After getting up, I made preparations for the evening meal, getting ready walnuts and almonds on a bed of peppered rice, together with fried colocasia roots, and I bought fruits, fresh and dried, as well as sweet-smelling flowers. When I had sent these off, I went back to the khan, and later I rode as usual with the donkey man to the house, taking fifty dinars wrapped in a kerchief. After I had entered, we ate, drank and then slept until morning, when I got up, gave the lady the kerchief and then rode back as usual to the khan.

 

    Things went on like this for a time, until I woke up one morning and found that I had no money left at all. `The devil has done this,' I said to myself, and I recited these lines:

 

    When the rich man becomes poor, his splendour goes,

    Just as the setting sun turns pale.

    If he is absent, no one talks of him;

    When present, he has no standing in his clan.

    He walks through the markets covering his face,

    While in the desert he sheds copious tears.

    By God, he may be with his own people,

    But even so, the poor man is a stranger.

 

    I went out of the khan and walked up Bain al-Qasrain street, going on until I reached Bab Zuwaila. There I found a great crowd of people blocking the gate. As was fated, I saw a soldier and jostled him unintentionally. I touched his pocket with my hand, and on feeling it, I discovered that my fingers were resting on a purse there. Realizing that this was within my grasp, I removed it, but the soldier felt that his pocket had become lighter, and when he put his hand into it, he found it empty. He turned towards me, lifted his club and struck me on the head, knocking me to the ground. I was surrounded by people, who held on to the bridle of the man's horse, exclaiming: `Do you strike this young man like that because you have been jostled?' `He's a damned thief!' the soldier shouted at them. I then came to my senses and found people saying: `This is a handsome young man and he has not taken anything.' Some of them believed this but others did not, and there was a great deal of argument. People were pulling me and wanting to free me from the soldier but, as fate had decreed, the wali, the police chief and his men came through the gate and found the people crowding around me and the soldier.

 

    When the wali asked what the trouble was, the soldier said: `Sir, this man is a thief. I had in my pocket a blue purse with twenty dinars in it and while I was stuck in the crush, he took it.' The wali asked whether there had been anyone with him. `No,' he said, and the wali shouted to his police chief, who laid hold of me, leaving me no place to hide. `Strip him,' ordered the wali, and when they did, they found the purse in my clothes. The wali took it, opened it and when he counted the money, he found in it twenty dinars, just as the soldier had said. He shouted angrily to the guards, who brought me before him. `Tell the truth, young man,' he said. `Did you steal this purse?' I hung my head and said to myself: `I can say that I didn't steal it, but it has been found on me, and yet, if I confess that I did steal it, then I am in trouble.' So I raised my head and said: `Yes, I took it.'

 

    The wali was astonished when he heard me say this and he called for witnesses who, when they came, testified to what I had said. All this was happening by the Zuwaila gate. The wali then gave orders to the executioner, who cut off my right hand. Afterwards the soldier felt pity for me and, thanks to his intercession; the wali left me and went on his way. The people stayed around me and gave me a glass of wine, while the soldier gave me his purse, saying: `You are a handsome young man and you should not be a thief.' I recited the lines:

 

    By God, I am no robber, my trusty friend,

    And neither am I a thief, O best of men.

    The misfortunes of Time cast me down suddenly,

    As my cares, temptation and poverty increased.

    It was not you but God Who shot the arrow

    That struck the royal crown from off my head.

 

    After he had given me the purse, the soldier left me, while I went off myself, after wrapping my hand in a scrap of cloth and putting it inside the front of my clothes. I wasn't feeling well and I had turned pale as the result of my experience; I walked unsteadily to the lady's house, where I threw myself down on the bed. The lady looked at my altered colour and asked: `What is paining you? Why do I see that your manner has changed?' `I have a headache,' I replied, `and I'm not well.' She was distressed and disturbed on my behalf. `Don't distress me,' she said, `but sit up, raise your head and tell me what has happened to you today, as it is clear from your face that you have a tale to tell.' `Please don't talk,' I said, but she wept and said: `I fear that you have finished with me, for I can see that you are not your usual self.' I kept silent, and although she went on talking, I made no reply. This went on until nightfall, when she brought me food, but I would not eat it lest she see me eating with my left hand. `I don't want to eat just now,' I told her, but she persisted: `Tell me what happened to you today, and why you are careworn and broken- hearted.' `I shall tell you soon in my own time,' I said. Then she brought me wine and said: `Take this, for it will remove your cares. You have to drink and then you can tell me your news.' `Must I really tell you?' I asked. `Yes,' she replied. `If that is so,' I said, `then give me to drink with your own hand.' She filled a glass and drank it and then filled it again and handed it to me. I took it from her with my left hand and, with tears pouring from my eyes, I recited:

 

    When God wills some fate to befall a man ­

    A man of intelligence, having all his senses ­

    He deafens him and blinds his heart,

    Drawing out his intelligence as one pulls a hair.

    When what He has decreed then comes to pass,

    He gives it back that its owner may take note.

 

On finishing these lines, I took the glass in my left hand and wept. She gave a loud shriek and asked: `Why are you weeping, and so distressing me? Why did you take the glass in your left hand?' `I have a boil on my right hand,' I said. `Show it to me,' she said, `and I will burst it for you.' `It's not ready for that,' I said, adding: `Don't pester me, for I'm not going to show it to you yet.' I then drank the glass, and she went on pouring out wine for me, until I was overcome by drunkenness and fell asleep on the spot. She then looked and saw an arm without a hand; on searching me, she found the purse with the gold. She felt more grief than anyone had ever experienced before, and the pain of this grief for me stayed with her until morning.

 

    When I woke up, I found that she had prepared me a dish of four boiled chickens, and she gave me a glass of wine. I ate and drank and then laid down the purse and was about to go out, when she said: `Where are you going?' `To wherever it may be,' I replied. `Don't go,' she said, `but sit down.' I did as she said, and she asked: `Have you loved me so much that you have spent all your money and lost your hand? I take you as my witness ­ and God is the truest witness ­ that I shall never leave you, and you shall see that what I say is true.' Then she sent for the notaries, and when they came she said: `Draw up a marriage contract for me and this young man and bear witness that I have already received my dowry.' They did as they were told, and then she said: `Bear witness that all my wealth, which is in this chest, and that all my slaves and servant girls are his property.' This they did, and I accepted the transfer of ownership, after which they took their fee and left.

 

    She then took me by the hand and led me to a closet, where she opened a large chest, telling me to look at its contents. I looked and saw that it was full of kerchiefs. `This is your money which I took from you, for all the kerchiefs that you gave me, each with its fifty dinars, I put together and dropped into this chest. Take your money, for it has been returned to you, and today you have become a great man. It was because of me that you became a victim of fate and lost your hand. For this I can of me that you became a victim of fate and lost your hand. For this I can make you no fair return, as even if I gave my life, it would not be enough by way of repayment.' Then she added: `Take charge of your wealth,' and so I transferred what was in her chest to mine and added my money to what I had given her. I was filled with joy; my cares left me and I got up, kissed her and thanked her. `You have given your hand out of love for me,' she said, `so how can I repay you?' And she repeated: `If I gave my life in love for you, it would not be enough and I would not have settled the debt that I owe you.'

 

    Then she made over to me by formal deed all that she owned dresses, jewellery and everything else. She spent the night with me, distressed by my own distress, until I told her all that had happened to me. After we had had less than a month together, she became very sick, and her illness intensified, until after only fifty days she was removed to the next world. I made the funeral preparations for her, buried her, arranged for the Quran to be recited over her grave and distributed money and alms in her name, after which I went away from her tomb. I then found out that she had left a huge store of money, together with properties and estates, and among the storehouses was one filled with sesame, some of which I sold to you. I have been too busy to settle with you over this period because I have been selling off the rest of the goods, together with everything that was in the storehouses, and up till now I have not finished collecting the purchase price. As for you, you must not refuse what I propose. I have eaten your food and so I make you a present of the price of the sesame that you have with you. You now know why my right hand was cut off and why I eat with my left.

 

`You have done me a very great kindness,' I said. The young merchant `You have done me a very great kindness,' I said. The young merchant then asked: `Would you like to go with me to my own country? I have bought trade goods from Cairo and Alexandria, so will you come?' I agreed to this and arranged to meet him on the first day of the next month. I then sold all that I had and used the price to buy more trade goods, after which the young man and I travelled to this country of yours. The young man sold his goods, bought replacement stock and went back to Egypt, while it was my fate to be sitting here tonight when all this happened to me, a stranger. Is this not more remarkable than the story of the hunchback, O king of the age?'

 

       The king replied: `I must very certainly hang you all.'

 

Morning now dawned and Shahrazad broke off from what she had been allowed to say. Then, when it was the twenty-seventh night, SHE CONTINUED:

 

    I have heard, O auspicious king that the king replied: `I must very certainly hang you all.' At that, the king's inspector came forward and said: `With your permission, I will tell you a story of what happened to me just before I found this hunchback. If it is more remarkable than the previous tale, will you spare all our lives?' The king agreed, AND THE INSPECTOR WENT ON:

 

    You must know, your majesty that last night I was with a group who had organized a recitation of the Quran, for which the faqihs had been brought together. When the reciters had performed their task and finished, a table was set out and among the foods that were produced was a dish made with sugar, almonds and vinegar. We came forward to eat, but one of our numbers held back and refused to join in. We urged him, but he swore that he would not eat any of it, and when we pressed him, he said: `Don't force me. What happened to me the last time I ate this is enough for me,' and he recited:

 

    Shoulder your belongings and be on your way;

    If you like this kohl, anoint yourself with it.

 

    When he had finished speaking, we urged him to tell us why he had refused the dish. `If I have to eat it,' he said, `I can only do that after I have washed my hands forty times with soap, forty times with potash and forty times with galingale; that is, a total of a hundred and twenty times.' At that, our host gave orders to his servants, who brought water and the other things for which he had asked, after which he washed his hands as I have described. He then came reluctantly, sat down and stretched out his hand, apparently in fear, plunged it into the dish and started to force himself to eat, filling us with surprise. His hand was shaking and when he raised it up, we could see that the thumb was missing and that he was eating with four fingers. We asked what had happened to his thumb, whether he had been born like that or whether he had suffered an accident. `Brothers,' he replied, `it is not only this thumb, but the other one as well, together with both my big toes. Wait till you see.' He then uncovered his left hand, and we found that it was like the right, and similarly that the big toes were missing from his feet.

This sight added to our astonishment and we told him that we could not wait to hear his story, the reason for his mutilation, and why he washed his hands a hundred and twenty times. HE BEGAN:

 

    Know that my father was one of the leading merchants of Baghdad in the days of Harun al-Rashid, and he was passionately fond of drinking wine and listening to the lute and other musical instruments. As a result, on his death he had nothing to leave. I arranged for the funeral and had the Quran recited over his grave. After a period of mourning, I opened up his shop, but I found that there was very little there and that he was in debt. I placated his creditors and persuaded them to wait, after which I started to trade, making them a weekly payment. Things went on like this for a time until I had paid off the debts and had added to my capital.

 

    Then one day as I was sitting there, before I knew what was happening, a girl appeared, wearing jewellery and fine clothes, riding on a mule, with one slave in front of her and another behind. I had never seen anything more lovely. She halted the mule at the entrance to the covered market and went in, with her eunuch following and protesting: `Come out, my lady, and don't let anyone know, lest we find ourselves in the fire.' He stood guarding her from sight as she looked at the merchants' shops, of which, as she found, mine was the only one open. She walked in, with the eunuch behind her, and sat down. The girl greeted me in the loveliest and sweetest voice that I had ever heard, and when she uncovered her face, I saw that she was as radiant as the moon. The glance that I threw her was followed by a thousand sighs, and love for her became fixed in my heart. Looking again and again at her face, I recited:

 

    Say to the lovely girl in the veil of the ringdove's colouring:

    `It is certain that only death will relieve me from the torture you

    `It is certain that only death will relieve me from the torture you inflict.

 

    Grant me union, that may perhaps give me life.

    Here is my hand stretched to you, hoping for bounty.'

 

    On hearing this, she replied:

 

    I cannot bear the pangs of love, but may you find relief,

    Whereas my heart loves none but you.

    If my eyes look at any loveliness but yours,

    May this parting lead to no delight.

    I have sworn an oath never to forget your love;

    My heart is sad, though proud that we once met.

    Passion has poured a brimming glass of love.

    Would that it poured for you what it has poured for me.

    Take my corpse with you on your travels,

    And where you halt, bury me facing you.

    Call my name by my grave, and then my bones

    Will groan in answer when they hear your call.

    If I were asked what I desire from God, I would reply:

    `His favour, Merciful is He, followed by yours.'

 

When she had finished these lines, she asked me whether I had attractive materials for sale. `My lady,' I replied, `your servant is poor, but if you wait until the other merchants open up their shops, I shall fetch you what you want.' We then talked together, with me drowning in the sea of love and lost in my passion for her, until the other merchants opened their shops. I went to them and fetched her all that she wanted, at a price of five thousand dirhams, after which the eunuch took the purchases that she handed to him, and they both left the covered market. Her mule was brought up and she mounted, without having told me where she came from, something that I was too bashful to ask. The merchants made me guarantee the purchase price, and so I shouldered the debt of five thousand dirhams, and went back home, drunk with love. My servants brought me my evening meal but I only ate a mouthful, thinking of the girl's beauty and grace. I tried to sleep but no sleep would come, and I stayed in this restless state for a week.

 

    At that point, the merchants asked me for their money, but I persuaded them to wait for another week. At the end of this, the girl appeared, riding on her mule, accompanied by a eunuch and two slaves. She greeted me and said: `Sir, I have been slow in paying you for the materials. Bring the money-changer and take the cash.' The money- changer duly came and the eunuch produced the money, which then I took. The girl and I talked together until the market opened, when she told me to get her other materials. I fetched these for her from the merchants, and she then went off without having said anything to me about the price. This was something I regretted after she had gone, since it had cost me a thousand dinars to get what she wanted, and as soon as she was out of sight, I asked myself: `What is this love? She gave me five thousand dirhams but I have just spent a thousand dinars.' I was sure that I would find myself reduced to poverty thanks to what I owed the merchants. `I am the only one whom they know,' I said to myself, `and this woman is nothing but a swindler who has used her beauty and grace to fool me. She thought of me as a little boy and laughed at me and I never even asked her where she lived.' never even asked her where she lived.'

 

    These misgivings stayed with me, and for more than a month she did not return. The merchants came to press me for their money and they forced me to sell my property, leaving me facing ruin. I was sitting, lost in thought, when before I knew it, there she was, dismounting at the gate of the market. She came into my shop and, when I saw her, my cares left me and I forgot my troubles. She came up and talked to me sweetly and then said: `Fetch the money-changer and have your money weighed out,' after which she gave me the price of the goods that she had taken and added in a profit. Then she talked with me in so relaxed a way that I almost died of joy and delight. `Have you a wife?' she asked. `No,' I told her, `I know no women at all,' and I burst into tears. `Why are you crying?' she asked, and I replied: `It's all right.'

 

    I then took some of the dinars and gave them to the eunuch, asking him to act as my go-between in the affair, but he laughed at me and said: `She loves you more than you love her. She didn't need the stuff that she bought from you and she bought it only because of her love for you. Ask her whatever you want; she will not say no to you.' The lady saw me giving money to him, and she came back and sat down. Then I said to her: `Be generous to your servant and give him what he asks.' I told her what was in my heart and she agreed to my request. `Do you bring my messages,' she told the eunuch, and to me she said: `Do what the eunuch tells you.' She got up and left, while I went and handed over their money to the merchants, being left with a profit.

 

    I then received no further news of her, and such was my regret I could not sleep at night, but after a few days the eunuch came back. I welcomed him with respect and asked him about his mistress. `She is ill,' he said, and I asked him to explain her position to me. `This girl,' he told he said, and I asked him to explain her position to me. `This girl,' he told me, `was brought up by the Lady Zubaida, the wife of the caliph Harun al-Rashid, and she is one of her maidservants. She asked to be allowed to come and go as she pleased, and she has reached a position of authority. She talked about you to her mistress and asked whether she would marry her to you. "No, I shall not," replied Lady Zubaida, "until I see the young man, and then, if he is a suitable match for you, I shall give consent." We need to smuggle you into the palace now; if you succeed, you will be able to marry the girl, but if you are found out, your head will be cut off. What do you say?' `I will go with you,' I said, `and endure the fate you have described.' The eunuch said: `Go tonight to the mosque, pray and spend the night there ­ that is the mosque which the Lady Zubaida built by the Tigris.'

 

    I willingly agreed and in the evening I went to the mosque, performed my prayers and spent the night there. At daybreak, eunuchs arrived in a little boat, bringing with them several empty chests, which they brought to the mosque, before going off again. One of them stayed behind and, when I looked at him, I recognized him as my go-between. A little later, the girl arrived. When she came forward, I got up and embraced her; she kissed me and burst into tears, after which we talked for some time. Then she took me and put me in a chest, which she locked. She approached the eunuch, who had with him a large quantity of goods, and these she started to take and pack in the other chests, locking them one after the other until she had packed them all. The servants then loaded them on the boat and set off for Lady Zubaida's palace.

 

    I became anxious, saying to myself that my lust would lead to my death, and wondering whether I would or would not succeed. I started to weep inside the chest and prayed God to deliver me from my plight. The servants continued their journey until they had brought all the chests to the gate of the caliph's palace, carrying in mine together with the others. They passed by a number of eunuchs entrusted with the protection of the harem, together with some of the harem women, until they came to a senior eunuch. Roused from his sleep, he shouted to the girl: `What is in these chests?' `They are full of goods for Lady Zubaida,' she said. `Open them up one by one,' he ordered, `so that I can look at the contents.' `Why do you want them opened?' she objected, but he shouted at her: `Don't waste time; these chests must be opened!'

 

    He got to his feet and the first chest that he wanted to be opened was the one in which I was hidden. When it was brought to him, I lost my senses; I was so afraid that I was unable to control myself and my urine seeped from the chest. The girl cried to the eunuch: `You have destroyed me and destroyed yourself, as you have spoiled something worth ten thousand dinars. In this chest are coloured dresses and four manns' of Zamzam water. The container has just fallen open and the water has leaked out over the clothes in the chest, ruining their colours.' `Take your chests and go, God damn you,' said the eunuch. So the servants hurriedly carried off the chest that I was in, bringing the others with it.

 

    While they were on their way, I heard someone saying: `Woe, woe, the caliph, the caliph!' When I heard that, I almost died of fright, exclaiming: `There is no might and no power except with God, the Exalted, the Omnipotent' ­ words which never bring shame on those who repeat them. To which I added: `This is a disaster that I have brought on myself.' I then heard the caliph asking my mistress what was in the chests. `Clothes belonging to the Lady Zubaida,' she said. `Open in the chests. `Clothes belonging to the Lady Zubaida,' she said. `Open them for me,' he ordered, and when I heard that, I felt that I had truly died, saying to myself: `By God, this is the last day of my life in this world. If I escape, I shall marry her ­ no question about it ­ but if I am found out, then my head will be cut off.' I started to recite: `I bear witness that there is no god but God and Muhammad is the Apostle of God.'

 

     Morning now dawned and Shahrazad broke off from what she had been allowed to say. Then, when it was the twenty-eighth night, SHE CONTINUED:

 

    I have heard, O auspicious king, that the young man recited the confession of faith. HE WENT ON:

 

    I heard the girl say: `The contents of these chests has been left in my charge. There are some dresses for the Lady Zubaida and she wants no one to look at them.' `The chests must be opened,' said the caliph, `and I shall inspect what is in them.' Then he shouted to the eunuchs: `Bring them to me,' at which I was so certain that I was going to die that I lost consciousness.

 

    Meanwhile, the eunuchs began to bring forward the chests one by one, and the caliph looked at their contents: rare perfumes, costly materials and splendid dresses. They carried on opening the chests as the caliph inspected the dresses and whatever else was in them, until the only one left was the chest which contained me. The eunuchs had reached out to open it when the girl rushed up to the caliph and said: `This chest in front of you is only to be opened in the presence of Lady Zubaida, for it is the one that contains her secret.' When the caliph heard this, he ordered that they should all be taken into her quarters. The eunuchs came and carried me in my chest before setting it down in the middle of the hall among the other ones. My mouth was dry, but the girl let me out and said: `All's well; don't be afraid. You can relax happily. Sit down until the Lady Zubaida comes, and it may be your good fortune to down until the Lady Zubaida comes, and it may be your good fortune to win me.'

 

    I sat there for a time, until suddenly ten maidens like moons came forward, and formed two lines of five, facing each other. They were followed by twenty more swelling-breasted virgins and in the middle of them was Lady Zubaida, wearing such a quantity of jewellery and such splendid robes that she could scarcely walk. When she came forward, the maids round about her dispersed and I went up and kissed the ground before her. She gestured to me to sit, and when I had taken my place in front of her, she began to question me. She asked about my family background and she was pleased at my answers to all her questions. She said to the girl: `The way that I brought you up has not proved a failure,' and to me she said: `Know that this girl is like a daughter to me and she is entrusted by God to your protection.'

 

    I kissed the ground before her, happy that I was to be allowed to marry. On Lady Zubaida's orders, I stayed in the palace for ten days, during which I did not see the girl but was brought my meals morning and evening by a servant. At the end of this period, the Lady Zubaida consulted the caliph about the girl's marriage, and he gave his permission, as well as providing the girl with ten thousand dinars. Lady Zubaida sent for the notaries and the qadi and they drew up her marriage contract. After that the servants prepared sweetmeats and splendid dishes, which they distributed among all the rooms in the harem. Ten more days passed like this and after a total of twenty days, the girl went to the baths.

 

    The servants then brought a small table, on which among other dishes was a plate of sugared almonds and vinegar, on top of which had been poured rosewater scented with musk. It contained roasted chicken poured rosewater scented with musk. It contained roasted chicken breasts and an astonishing variety of other ingredients. I didn't wait but set upon it and ate my fill, but although I wiped my hands, I forgot to wash them. I sat there until nightfall, when the candles were lit and the singing girls came in with their tambourines. They went round the whole palace, displaying the bride and being showered with gold coins, after which they brought her forward, having taken off her outer clothes.

 

    I found myself alone with her on the bed, and I embraced her, scarcely believing that I was going to enjoy union with her. Then, on my hand, she caught the scent of the dish I had eaten and she screamed aloud. The maids came in from all sides, while I trembled, not knowing what was happening. `What is the matter with you, sister?' they asked. `Remove this madman from me,' she said, `for I had thought that he was a person of sense.' `What symptom of madness have you seen in me?' I asked her. `Madman,' she said, `how is it that you ate the almond dish without washing your hands? By God, I shall repay you for what you have done. Is someone like you to sleep with someone like me?' Then from beside her she took a plaited whip and started to beat my back and then my buttocks with so many strokes that I fainted. `Take him,' she ordered the maids, `and bring him to the city magistrate to cut off the hand with which he ate the almond dish and which he failed to wash.'

 

    When I heard this, I exclaimed: `There is no might and no power except with God! Is my hand to be cut off simply because I ate that dish and didn't then wash my hands?' The maids interceded with her and said: `Sister, don't punish him this time for this fault.' `I must cut off some of his extremities,' she said, after which she went away. She stayed away for ten days, during which I didn't see her, but after that she came back to me and said: `Black face, I'll teach you how to eat without washing your hands!' Then she called to the maids, who tied me up, and taking a sharp razor she cut off my thumbs and my big toes, as you all can see. I fainted, but she sprinkled powder over me, which stopped the flow of blood. I started to say that I would never again eat that dish without first washing my hands forty times with potash, forty times with galingale and forty times with soap. She made me swear to do this, as I have said, and that is why, when you produced this dish, I changed colour and said to myself that this was why I had lost my thumbs and my big toes, and when you forced it on me, I said that I must keep the oath that I had sworn.

 

The man was then asked what had happened after that. `When I swore that oath for her,' he said, `she calmed down and she and I slept together. We stayed there for a time, but after that she said that the caliph's palace was not a good place for us to be. "No man apart from you has ever entered it and you only did that because of the care taken by the Lady Zubaida. She has given me fifty thousand dinars, so take the money and go out to buy us a house." I went and bought one that was both handsome and spacious, and into this she moved all the elegant possessions she had in the palace, together with all the wealth, materials and treasures that she had stored up. This, then, is the reason why I lost my thumbs and my toes.'

 

    We finished eating following our recitation and left, and it was after this that I had my encounter with the hunchback. This is the end of my story.

 

The king said: `This was no more agreeable than the tale of the hunchback, and, in fact, his was more agreeable than yours, so I must hunchback, and, in fact, his was more agreeable than yours, so I must certainly hang you all.' At that, the Jewish doctor came forward and said: `Lord of the age, I can tell you a more remarkable story than that of the hunchback.' `Then produce it,' said the king, and the jew said:

 

    The most remarkable thing that happened to me in my youth took place when I was in Damascus, where I was studying. While I was sitting in my lodgings one day, up came a mamluk from the palace of the governor of the city, who told me to come to his master. I went out with him to the palace, and when I entered I saw at the upper end of the hall a couch of juniper wood plated with gold, on which a sick person was lying. This turned out to be a young man, the most handsome to be seen.

I took my seat by his head and uttered a prayer for his recovery. He made a sign to me with his eyes and I asked him to be so good as to give me his hand. I was surprised when he produced his left hand and I said to myself: `By God, how remarkable. Here is a handsome young man, from a great house, but he lacks manners. This is strange.' I felt his pulse and wrote him a prescription, after which I paid him regular visits for ten days until he recovered. He then went to the baths and came out after having washed himself. The governor presented me with a fine robe and appointed me as one of his superintendents in the Damascus hospital.

 

    When I went to the baths with my patient, these had been completely cleared for him. The servants brought him in and took his clothes, and when he was stripped I saw that his right hand had recently been amputated, that being the cause of his illness. The sight filled me with surprise and I was feeling sorry for him when I looked at his body and could see from his scars that he had been beaten with whips and treated with salves. This troubled me and my concern showed on my face. Looking at me, he understood what I was feeling. `Physician of the age,' he said to me, `don't be surprised at my condition, and I will tell you my story when we leave the baths.' We left and went to the palace, where we ate and then rested. `Would you like to look at the upper room?' he asked me, and when I said yes, he ordered the slaves to take the furnishings upstairs, as well as to roast a lamb and to bring us fruit. When the fruit had been fetched, we ate, the young man using his left hand. I then asked him to tell me his story. `Physician of the age,' he said, `listen to what happened to me.' HE WENT ON:

 

    You must know that I was born in Mosul and when my grandfather died, he left ten sons, of whom my father was the eldest. They all grew up and married, but while my father produced me, his nine brothers had no children. I grew up among my uncles and they took the greatest pleasure in me. When I had grown to man's estate, I sat one day in the mosque of Mosul at the time of the Friday prayer. My father was there, and when we had performed the prayer, the congregation all left, while my father and my uncles sat talking about the wonders of the world and the marvels of foreign cities, until they mentioned Cairo. My uncles said: `Travellers claim that on the face of the earth there is no city more beautiful than Cairo by the Nile.'

 

    When I heard this, I felt a longing to see Cairo and my father said: `Whoever has not seen Cairo has not seen the world. Its soil is gold; its river is a wonder; its women are houris; its houses are palaces; its climate is mild; and its scent surpasses that of frankincense, which it puts to shame. There is nothing surprising about this, as Cairo is the whole world. How eloquent was the poet who said:

 

    Am I to leave Cairo, with its comforts and delights?

    What other place is there to rouse my longing?

    Am I to leave a land which is itself perfume,

    Rather than what is found in the partings of perfumed hair?

    How could I do this when this is a paradise of loveliness,

    Strewn with rich carpets and cushions,

    A land whose splendour fills eye and heart with longing,

    Holding all that the godly and ungodly can desire?

    Here are true brothers united in their merit,

    Meeting within the confines of its gardens.

    People of Cairo, if God decrees that I must leave,

    Covenants and compacts still remain between us.

    Do not mention her to the zephyr lest it may

    Steal from her gardens scent to give elsewhere.'

 

My father went on: `Were you to see its gardens in the evening in the slanting shadows, you would see a wonder and be filled with delight.' He and his brothers started to describe Cairo and the Nile, and when they had finished and I had listened to the description of the place, my mind remained fixed on it. At the end of this, each one got up and left for his own home, while I could not sleep that night because I had conceived a passion for Cairo, as a result of which I could enjoy neither food nor drink. A few days later, my uncles made preparations to go to Cairo and I wept bitterly until my father provided me with some trade goods and I went off with them, although his instructions were that I should not to be allowed to enter Cairo but was to be left to sell my goods in Damascus.

 

    I took leave of my father and we set out on our journey from Mosul, carrying on until we reached Aleppo, where we stopped for a few days. Then we continued to Damascus, where we found a city of trees, streams and birds, like a paradise, with fruits of all kinds. We stopped at one of the khans and my uncles stayed in the city to trade. They also sold my goods and delighted me by making a profit of five hundred per cent, before going on to Egypt, while I stayed behind in a house so attractively built that it beggared description. The rent was two dinars a month and I stayed there eating and drinking until I had spent all the money that I had with me.

 

    One day, as I was sitting by the door of the house, a girl came up, wearing as splendid a dress as I had ever seen. I winked at her and without hesitation she passed through the door. I followed her in and closed the door behind us. She then removed her cloak and the veil from her face, and I found that she was astonishingly beautiful. Love for her took possession of my heart and I went off and brought a tray of the tastiest foods and fruits and all that the occasion required. When I had fetched this, we ate, and then, after an interval for play, we drank until we became drunk. I then got up and slept with her, passing the most delightful of nights.

 

    The following day, I gave her ten dinars, but she frowned, knitting her brows, and exclaiming indignantly: `Shame on you, Mosuli! Do you think that I want your money?' Out of the pocket of her dress she produced fifteen dinars and left them in front of me, saying: `By God, if you don't take them, I shall never come back to you.' I took the money and she said: `Darling, expect me in three days' time and I shall come between sunset and supper. Use the money to prepare us another meal like the last.' Then she took her leave of me and went away, taking my like the last.' Then she took her leave of me and went away, taking my senses with her. Three days later, she came back dressed in brocade, jewels and robes more splendid than those she had worn the first time. Before she came I had made my preparations, and we ate, drank and slept until morning, as we had done before. As before, she gave me fifteen dinars, and promised to come back after three days.

 

    Again I made preparations for her visit, and she came dressed even more splendidly than on her first and second visit. `Am I not beautiful?' she asked me. `Yes, by God, you are,' I replied. `Will you let me bring with me a girl who is more beautiful as well as younger than I am,' she asked, `so that she can play with us, and you and she can laugh together and she can enjoy herself, as for a long time she has been sad? She has asked to come out with me and to spend the night with me.' On hearing this, I agreed willingly, and then we got drunk and slept until morning. When she produced the fifteen dinars this time, before leaving she told me to provide extra provisions for the girl who was to come with her. On the fourth day, I made my preparations as usual, and after sunset she arrived with a girl wrapped in a mantle. They came in and sat down, and at this sight, I recited:

 

    How pleasant and delightful it is now,

    When the censurer is absent and unaware.

    Love of pleasure and drunkenness ­

    One of these is enough to steal our wits.

    The full moon appears veiled;

    The branch bends in a gown, and on the cheeks

    The rose blooms in its freshness, while in the eyes

    Languishes the narcissus.

    Languishes the narcissus.

    Life, as I wish it, is without a cloud;

    Because of the beloved, pleasure is complete.

 

    Filled with delight, I lit the candles and received the girls joyfully. They took off their outer clothes and the new girl showed me a face like the moon at its full. I had never seen anyone more beautiful. I then rose and brought food and wine, after which we ate and drank our fill. I was giving mouthfuls of food to the new girl, filling up her glass and drinking with her until her companion became secretly jealous and asked me whether the girl was not prettier than she was. `Yes, by God,' I replied. `I would like you to sleep with her,' she told me and when I agreed she got up and spread out bedding for us. I went over to the girl and slept with her until morning.

 

    When I stirred, I found that I was very damp and I thought that I must have been sweating. I sat up to rouse the girl and shook her by the shoulders, at which her head rolled off the pillow. Losing control of myself, I cried out: `Kind Shelterer, shelter me!' I saw that her throat had been cut and I sprang up, finding that the world had turned black for me. I looked for my former mistress but when I could not find her, I realized that it must have been she who had murdered the other out of jealousy. `There is no power and no might except with God, the High, the Almighty!' I exclaimed. `What am I to do?' I thought for a time and then I got up and stripped off my clothes. In the middle of the house I dug a hole and then I took the girl, jewels and all, and put her into it, after which I covered it with earth and then with marble. Next, I washed, put on clean clothes and, taking what money I still had, I left the house, locked it up, and went to its owner. Summoning up my courage, I paid him a year's rent, telling him that I was going off to join courage, I paid him a year's rent, telling him that I was going off to join my uncles in Cairo.

 

    When I reached Cairo, I met my uncles who were glad to see me and they had, as I found, finished selling their goods. When they asked me why I had come, I told them that it was because I had missed them. I stayed with them for a year, seeing the sights of Cairo and the Nile, but concealing the fact that I still had some money with me. Then, taking my store of money, I started to spend it, using it on food and drink, until the time had come for my uncles to leave. At this point, I ran off and hid from them so that, although they looked, they could get no news of me. Thinking that I must have gone back to Damascus, they left.

 

    I came out of hiding and stayed in Cairo for three years until all my money had run out. Every year I had been sending the rent to the owner of the house in Damascus, but after three years I found myself at a standstill and could not afford more than the one year's rent. So I set off for Damascus and when I got there I stopped at my old house. The owner was glad to see me and I found the storerooms sealed up as I had left them. So I opened them and removed my belongings. Then, under the bed on which I had slept that night with the murdered girl, I found a

gold necklace set with jewels. I took it, and after wiping it clean of her blood, I stared at it, shedding tears for some time. For two days I waited and then on the third I went to the baths, where I changed my clothes. I had no money at all with me and, on going to the market one day, I listened to the promptings of the devil, so that what was fated came to pass.

 

    Taking the jewelled necklace, I gave it to the market auctioneer, who got up and asked me to sit beside the owner of the house. Waiting until the market was crowded, he then secretly, and without my knowledge, the market was crowded, he then secretly, and without my knowledge, called for buyers. It turned out that the necklace was valuable enough to bring in two thousand dinars, but the auctioneer came to me and said: `It is a copper piece, of Frankish work, which will fetch a thousand dirhams.' `Yes,' I said, `we had it made for a woman as a joke, and now my wife has inherited it, so we want to sell it. Accept the thousand dirhams for it.'

 

Morning now dawned and Shahrazad broke off from what she had been allowed to say. Then, when it was the twenty-ninth night, SHE CONTINUED:

 

    I have heard, O auspicious king, that he told the auctioneer to accept a thousand dirhams. HE WENT ON:

 

    When the auctioneer heard that, he realized that something was not right and he went to the market superintendent and gave him the necklace. He, in turn, went to the wali and said: `This necklace was stolen from my house and we have found the thief dressed as a merchant.' Before I knew what was happening, I was surrounded by guards, who seized me and brought me to the wali. He asked me about the necklace, and I told him the story that I had told the auctioneer. The wali laughed and said: `This is not true.' Before I knew it, I was stripped of my clothes and beaten on my sides with whips. Because of the burning pain of the beating, I said: `I stole it,' telling myself that it was better to confess to theft than to say that the girl who owned the necklace had been killed in my house, lest I be killed in retaliation for her murder. They wrote down that I had stolen the necklace and they then cut off my hand and cauterized it with oil. I fainted, but they poured wine down my throat and I recovered. Taking my hand, I went back to the house, but the owner said: `After what has happened, you must leave and find another place for yourself, for you have been charged with robbery.' `Sir,' I asked him, `let me have two or three days to look for a place.'

 

    He agreed to this and went off, leaving me. I stayed sitting there, weeping and saying: `How can I go back to my family now that I have lost my hand and they don't know that I am innocent? It may be that God will bring something to pass after this,' and I went on to shed bitter tears. After the owner of the house had left me, I spent two days in a state of great distress and agitation. Then, on the third day, before I knew what was happening, he came back with a number of guards as well as the market superintendent, the man who claimed that I had stolen the necklace. I went out to meet them and asked: `What is the matter?' Giving me no time to answer, they tied my arms and threw a chain around my neck. Then they told me that the necklace that had been in my possession had been taken to the governor of Damascus, who ruled the city as its vizier, and it appeared to have vanished from his palace three years ago, together with his daughter.

 

    When I heard this, my heart sank, and I said to myself: `There is no doubt that I am a dead man. I must tell the governor my story, and if he wants, he can kill me, or otherwise he may pardon me.' When we came to him, I was made to stand before him. Looking at me out of the corner of his eye, he said to the people there: `Why did you cut his hand off? This is an unfortunate man who has committed no crime and you have wronged him by doing this.' When I heard what he said, I took courage and my spirits rose. `By God, sir,' I said, `I am no thief. They brought this grave accusation against me and beat me with whips in the middle of the market, forcing me to confess. So I told a lie against myself and admitted the theft, although I was innocent.' `No harm shall come to you,' he said, and then he ordered the market superintendent to pay me compensation for my hand: `Or else I shall hang you and confiscate all your property.' He then shouted to the officers, who seized the man and dragged him off, leaving me with the governor.

 

    With his permission, guards removed the chain from my neck and untied my bonds. The governor looked at me and said: `My son, tell me the truth and explain to me how you got this necklace,' and he recited:

 

    You must speak the truth, even if this truth

    Burns you with the promised fire of hell.

 

Promising that I would do this, I then told him what had happened to me with the first girl and how she had brought me the second, whose throat she had then cut in a fit of jealousy. When he had listened to the whole story as I told it, he shook his head, struck his right hand against his left and covered his face with his kerchief. For a time he wept and then he recited the lines:

 

    I see the ills of this world crowding in on me.

    Their victim remains sick until he dies.

    Meetings of friends must end in their parting,

    And the time before parting is short indeed.

 

    He then came up to me and said: `My son, you must know that the elder girl was my daughter. I brought her up in strict seclusion and when she reached maturity, I sent her to Cairo, where she married her cousin. After his death she came back to me, but she had learned evil ways from the Egyptians and so it was that she went to you four times, finally bringing you her younger sister. They were full sisters and they loved each other deeply. After the elder had met you, she told her secret to her sister, who asked to go with her. When the elder came back alone, I asked her about her sister, and I found her weeping for her. Then she told her mother and myself in private how she had murdered the girl, and she kept on shedding tears and saying: `By God, I shall go on weeping for her until I die.' That is how the matter stood, and now that you have seen what happened, I want you to agree to what I propose, which is to marry you to my youngest daughter. She is not a full sister of the other two and is a virgin. I shall not take any dowry from you; instead I shall make you an allowance and you can stay with me as my son.' I agreed to this, saying: `How can it be that I have found such good fortune?' The governor sent at once for the qadi and the notaries and he drew up the marriage contract, after which I consummated the marriage. He got a large amount of money for me from the market superintendent, and I occupied an honoured place at his court. My father died this year and the governor of Mosul sent a courier to bring me the money that he had left, and so today I am living in the greatest prosperity. This, then, is how I came to lose my right hand.

 

I was astonished at this story and I stayed with him for three days, after which he gave me a large sum of money. When I left him, I travelled to this city of yours, where I have enjoyed a good life, until I had this this city of yours, where I have enjoyed a good life, until I had this adventure with the hunchback.

 

`This is no more wonderful than the tale of the hunchback,' said the king of China, `and I must hang you­ except that there is still the tailor who was responsible for the whole thing.' He then told the tailor that if he produced a tale more remarkable than that of the hunchback he would pardon their crimes. At that the tailor came forward, AND HE SAID:

 

    Know, king of the age, that my most remarkable experience happened yesterday. At the beginning of the day, before I met the hunchback, I was at a banquet given by one of my friends, at which about twenty guests had been collected from among the citizens of this place craftsman such as tailors and carpenters, together with silk merchants and others. At sunrise, food was set out for us to eat, and in came our host with a handsome young man, a stranger from Baghdad. He was wearing the finest of clothes and was remarkably good-looking, but he was lame. We stood up for him as he came in and greeted us, and he was about to take his seat when he caught sight of a barber who was with us. On seeing the man, he refused to sit down and attempted to leave. We tried to restrain him and the host held on to him, swearing that he should not go and asking: `Why do you come in and then go out?' `By God, sir,' replied the young man, `don't try to stop me. I am going because of this ill-omened barber who is sitting there.' The host was astonished to hear this and said: `How is it that this young man comes from Baghdad and yet is so upset by this barber?' We looked at him and said: `Tell us why it is that you are angry with him.'

 

    The young man then addressed us and said: `I had an encounter with this man in Baghdad, my native city, and it is he who is responsible for my lameness and for the breaking of my leg. I swore that I would never associate with him in any place or in any town in which he was living. I then left Baghdad and travelled away from it until I settled here, but this very night I shall set out again on my travels.' We pressed him to tell us his story and the barber turned pale as the young man started to speak. `You should know,' the young man explained to us, `that my father was one of the leading merchants of Baghdad and I was his only son.' HE WENT ON:

 

    When I had grown up and reached man's estate, my father died, moving from this world to the mercy of Almighty God. He bequeathed me money, eunuchs and servants, and I began to dress and to eat well. God had endowed me with a hatred of women and so one day, when I was in one of the lanes of Baghdad and a group of women approached from the opposite direction, I ran off and went into a cul-de-sac, at the end of which I sat down on a stone bench.

 

    Before I had been there for long, a window opened in the house opposite me and from it a girl like the full moon looked out, whose equal I had never seen in all my life. She was watering plants on her windowsill, and, after looking right and left, she shut the window and disappeared from view. Fire was kindled in my heart and my mind was consumed by her, my hatred for women turning to love. I went on sitting there in a trance until sunset, when the qadi of Baghdad rode up, with his black slaves before him and his eunuchs behind. On dismounting, he went into the house from which the girl had gazed, and I realized that this must be her father.

 

    I went back sorrowfully to my own house and fell on my bed, full of care. My servant girls came in and sat around me, but they could not understand what was wrong with me and, as I said nothing to them, they wept over me and grieved. Then in came an old woman who, when she saw me, realized at once what the matter must be. She sat down by my head and spoke gently to me, saying: `My son, tell me about it and I shall see to it that you are united with her.' I told her my story and she said: `My son, this is the daughter of the qadi of Baghdad and she is kept in seclusion. The window where you saw her is on her floor of the building, while her father lives in a great hall beneath it. She sits by herself, but I often go to visit the house, and it is only through me that you can achieve union with her, so pluck up your courage.'

 

    I took heart from her word that was a day of joy for my household and in the morning I felt better. The old woman went off, but when she came back, her colour had changed. `My son,' she said. `Don't ask what happened between me and the girl. When I had spoken to her about you, she said: "You ill-omened old woman. If you don't stop talking like this, I shall treat you as you deserve." But I must go back to her a second time.'

 

    When I heard that, my sickness worsened, until after some days the old woman came back. `My son,' she said. `You must reward me for bringing good news.' This restored me to life and I said: `You may have everything that is good.' At that, she went on: `I went to visit the girl yesterday and she could see that I was sad and tearful. "Aunt," she asked, "why do you look so unhappy?" I wept and replied: "My lady, I have come to you from a young man who loves you and who is near to death because of you." Her heart softened at this and she asked: "Where does he come from, this young man whom you have mentioned?" "He is like a son to me and the fruit of my heart. Some days ago, he saw you in like a son to me and the fruit of my heart. Some days ago, he saw you in the window when you were watering your plants, and after looking at your face, he fell deeply in love with you. The first time that I told him what you had said to me, his love sickness grew worse; he kept to his bed, and there can be no doubt that he is going to die." She turned pale. "Is all this because of me?" she asked. "Yes, by God," I said, "so what should I do?" She said: "Go to him; greet him from me and let him know that my love is twice as great as his. Then tell him to come to the house on Friday before prayers. When he gets here, I shall go down and open the door and bring him up to my room. He and I can be together for a time and he can leave before my father gets back from prayers." '

 

    When I heard what the old woman had to say, the pain that I was feeling left me and my spirits recovered. I gave her the clothes that I was wearing and she went off, telling me to be of good heart. `I have no pain left at all,' I replied, and my household and my friends were delighted by my recovery. I stayed like that until Friday, when the old woman came in and asked me how I was. I told her that I was in good health, and then I put on my clothes, perfumed myself and stayed waiting for the people to go to the mosque for prayers, so that I could then visit the girl. The old woman said: `You have plenty of time, so why not go to the baths and have your hair cut, especially after your serious illness? That would restore you.' `A good idea,' I said, `but I shall have my head shaved first and after that I will go to the baths.'

 

    I then sent for a barber to shave my head, and I told my servant to fetch me an intelligent man, who would not be inquisitive and would not give me a headache with his constant chatter. My servant went off and the barber whom he fetched was this calamitous old man. He greeted me when he came in and I returned the greeting. `I see that you are very thin,' he said. `I have been ill,' I replied. `May God remove all your cares, your sorrows, your distress and your griefs,' he said. `May He accept your prayer,' I said. `Be of good cheer,' he went on, `for good health has come to you. Do you want your hair to be trimmed or do you want to be bled? It is reported on the authority of Ibn `Abbas may God be pleased with him ­ that the Prophet said: "Whoever has his hair cut on a Friday is kept free of seventy diseases." It is also recorded of him that he said: "Whoever is cupped on a Friday is preserved from loss of sight and from many diseases." ‘`Stop talking,' I told him, `and start shaving my head immediately, for I have been sick.'

 

    He got up, stretched out his hand and, bringing out a kerchief, he unfolded it, revealing an astrolabe with seven plates set with silver. Taking this, he went to the middle of the house and raised his head towards the sun's rays. After a long look, he said to me: `You must know that this day is Friday, that is the tenth of the month of Safar in the year 653 of the Prophet­ on whom be peace and the best of blessings ­ and the year 7320 dating from Alexander the Great, the ascendant planet, according to arithmetical calculation, being Mars. Of the day, eight degrees and six minutes have passed and, as it happens, Mars is in conjunction with Mercury. That shows that this is a good time for hair cutting and it also shows me that you are looking for union with someone and that this will be fortunate, but afterwards there will be words and something that I won't mention to you.' `By God,' I told him, `you have driven me to distraction, lowered my spirits and produced an omen for me that is not good. I only asked you to cut my hair, so get on and do it and stop talking so much.' `By God,' he said, `if you know what is coming to you, you would not do anything today, and my advice is that you should act as I tell you, on the basis of my reading of the stars.' `You are the only astrological barber whom I have ever met,' I told him. `I can see that you have a fund of jokes, but I only asked you here to look after my hair, and instead you have produced all this rubbish.'

 

    `Do you need any more advice?' he asked. `God in His bounty has provided you with a barber who is also an astrologer, a chemist, an expert in natural magic, grammar, morphology, philology, rhetoric, eloquence, logic, arithmetic, astronomy, geometry, religious law, the traditions of the Prophet and the interpretation of the Quran. I have read the relevant books and studied them; I have a practical knowledge of affairs; I have committed to heart a perfect knowledge of the sciences; I am a theoretical and practical master of technical skill. There is nothing that I have not organized and undertaken. I was a favourite with your father because I am lacking in curiosity and it is because of this that I feel it an obligation to serve you. Whatever you think, I am not inquisitive and this is why I am known as "the silent and serious one". What you should do is to praise God and not to oppose me, for the advice that I have to offer is good. I feel sympathy for you and I would like to be in your service for a whole year so that you might value me as I deserve, and I would not want any wages from you for that.' When I heard that, I said: `Without a doubt you will be the death of me today.'

 

Morning now dawned and Shahrazad broke off from what she had been allowed to say. Then, when it was the thirtieth night, she continued: I have heard, O auspicious king that the young man said: `You will be the death of me today.' he went on:

 

    `Sir,' the barber replied, `I am the man the people call the Silent because, unlike my six brothers, I speak so little. My eldest brother is known as the Babbler; the second is the Bellower; the third is the Jabberer; the fourth is the Aswan Jug; the fifth is the Talker; the sixth is the Prattler; while I, the seventh, am the Silent.' While he kept on talking at me, I felt as though my gall bladder had split. I told my servant to give him quarter of a dinar, adding: `And for God's sake, see that he leaves me, as I don't need to have my head shaved after all.' `What is this, master?' the barber said when he overheard what I had been saying. `By God, I will take no fee from you until I have done something for you. I must do this, as it is my duty to serve you and do what you want, and I don't care whether I get anything from you at all. Even if you don't know how to value me, I know how to value you, and your father­ may God Almighty have mercy on him was generous to me, for he was a munificent man. He once sent for me on a fortunate day such as this, and when I came in, I found that he had a number of friends with him. He wanted me to bleed him, but I took my astrolabe and measured the angle of the ascendant star, which I found to be unlucky, making blood-letting under its influence to be inappropriate. I told him that, and he followed my advice and waited, and so I recited in his praise:

 

    I went to my master to draw his blood,

    But I found that the time did not conduce to health.

    I sat and talked to him of wonders of all kinds,

    Unfolding before him my store of knowledge.

    He admired what he heard from me and said:

    "You have passed the bounds of understanding, you mine of learning."

    I said to him: "Lord of mankind, had you not poured

    Understanding over me, mine would not have increased.

    You are, it seems, a master of merit, generous and bountiful,

    A treasure house of knowledge, understanding and clemency for all."

 

Your father was pleased and told his servant to give me a hundred and three dinars as well as a robe of honour, which was handed to me, and when a propitious time came, I bled him. He did not ignore my recommendations but thanked me, as did all the company. After I had bled him, I could not stay silent, and I asked him to tell me why he had told the servant to give me a hundred and three dinars. `One dinar,' he explained, `was for your astronomical observation and another for your conversation, the third was the fee for the blood-letting, and the hundred dinars and the robe of honour were the reward for your eulogy of me.'

 

    `May God have no mercy on my father,' I exclaimed, `for knowing a man like you!' The barber laughed and said: `There is no god but God, and Muhammad is the Apostle of God, Who causes change but is not changed. I had thought that you were an intelligent man, but your illness has made you feeble-minded. God has referred in His Holy Book to "those who suppress their anger and those who forgive others". At any rate, you are forgiven, but I don't know why you are in such a hurry. You know that neither your father nor your grandfather would do anything except on my advice. There is a common saying that "the advisor is to be trusted" and "whoever asks for advice is not disappointed". There is also a proverb: "Whoever has no elder to help him will not himself be an elder." As the poet has said:

 

    When you intend some action, take advice

    From one who knows, and do not disobey.

 

You will not find anyone who knows more about worldly matters than I do, and I am on my feet here to serve you. I am not irritated by you, so how can you be irritated by me? I put up with you patiently because of the favours that your father did me.' `By God, you donkey's tail,' I said, `you go on and on speechifying and talking more and more, while all I want is for you to cut my hair and leave.' After that, he dampened my hair and said: `I realize that you have become irritated with me, but I shall not hold it against you, because your intellect is weak and you are a young boy. It was only yesterday that I used to carry you on my shoulder and take you to school.' `For God's sake, brother,' I said, `let me finish my business and be on your way,' and then I tore my clothes.

 

    When he saw me do that, he took his razor and went on and on sharpening it until I was almost out of my mind with impatience. Then he came up, but after he had shaved part of my head, he raised his hand and said: `Master, haste comes from the devil and patience from the Merciful God.' He then recited:

 

    Act slowly and not with haste in what you want;

    Be merciful to men, and you shall meet the Merciful.

    God's power is greater than all other powers,

    And the unjust will suffer from injustice.

 

`Master,' he added, `I don't think you are aware of my status. This hand of mine touches the heads of kings, emirs, viziers, together with men of wisdom and excellence. It could have been about me that the poet said:

 

    Crafts are like necklaces, and here this barber

    Is like the pearl hung on a necklace string,

    Standing above all men of wisdom,

    While under his hand are the heads of kings.'

 

    `Stop busying yourself with what is no concern of yours,' I said, `for you have made me angry and distracted.' `I think you must be in a hurry,' he said. `Yes, yes, yes,' I told him. `Allow yourself to slow down,' he insisted, `for haste comes from the devil and it leaves behind repentance and loss. The Prophet ­ upon whom be blessing and peace ­ said: "The best affair is the one that proceeds slowly." I am uneasy about your affairs and I wish you would tell me what you are planning to do. It may be something good, but I fear that it might turn out to be something else.'

 

    There were still three hours to go before the time of prayer, but he said: `I want to be in no doubt about that. Rather, I would like to know the time exactly, for guesswork leads to shame, especially in the case of a man like me, whose merits are clear and celebrated among the people. I cannot speak by conjecture as the common run of astrologers do.' So he threw down his razor, took the astrolabe and went out into the sun. He stayed there for a long time and when he came back, he said: `there are stayed there for a long time and when he came back, he said: `There are exactly three hours to go, neither more nor less.' `I implore you, in God's Name,' I said, `don't speak to me. You have broken my heart.' So, as before, he took his razor, sharpened it, and shaved part of my head. Then he said: `I am worried by your hastiness. If you told me the reason for it, it would be better for you, since you know that your father and your grandfather never did anything except on my advice.'

 

    When I realized that I couldn't get rid of him, I told myself: `Prayer time has come and I want to go before the people leave the mosque, as if I delay at all, I don't know how I can get in to see the girl.' So I said: `Cut this short and stop all this chattering and inquisitiveness. I want to go to a party to which I have been invited by a friend of mine.' When the barber heard me talk of an invitation, he said: `This is a fortunate day for me. Yesterday I invited a group of my friends, but I forgot to see to it that they had something to eat. I have only just thought of that, and how ashamed I shall be.' `Don't worry about it,' I said. `I have already told you that I have been invited out today, so you can have all the food and drink in my house, if only you finish the job and shave my head quickly.' `May God reward you,' he said, but then added: `Tell me what you have for my guests, so that I may know.' I told him: `There are five different types of food, ten grilled chickens and a roasted lamb.' `Bring them out, so that I may inspect them,' he said. I produced all of this, but, after looking at it, he said: `There is still the wine.' `I have some,' I said, and when he told me to fetch it out, I did so. He praised my generosity, but added: `There is still the incense and the perfumes.' I fetched him a container with nadd, aloes, ambergris and musk worth fifty dinars.

 

    Time was getting short, as was my temper, and so I said: `Finish shaving my head, by the life of Muhammad ­ may God have mercy on him and give him peace.' `By God,' said the barber, `I cannot take this container until I have seen all its contents.' On my orders, my servant opened it, and putting away his astrolabe, the barber sat on the ground turning over its contents, so adding to my annoyance. He then came forward and, taking his razor, he then shaved a small bit of my head. Then he recited:

 

    The child grows up to resemble his father,

    And the tree grows from its roots.

 

`By God, my son,' he went on, `I don't know whether to thank you or to thank your father. My party today will be all the result of your kindly generosity. None of my guests is worthy of that, but the people who are coming are respected citizens, such as Zantut the bath keeper, Sali` the grain merchant, Sulit the bean seller, `Ikrisha the greengrocer, Humaid the street sweeper, Sa`id the camel driver, Suwaid the porter, Abu Makarish the bath man, Qasim the guard and Karim the groom. None of these are heavy-going, quarrelsome, inquisitive or otherwise troublesome men. Each one of them has a dance that he can perform and verses that he can recite, and the best thing about them is that, like your humble servant, they are ignorant of verbosity and are without curiosity. The bath keeper sings a magical song to the tambourine: "Mother I am going to fill my jar". The grain merchant, bringing to it more skill than anyone else, dances and recites "My lady, you hired mourner, you have given no short measure", stealing all hearts as people laugh at his antics. The street sweeper stops the birds in their flight by his singing, and he dances and recites "What my wife knows is shut in a box". He is an able dances and recites "What my wife knows is shut in a box". He is an able fellow, smart and bold. In praise of his handsomeness I say:

 

    My life is the ransom for a street sweeper who has roused my passion.

 

    Sweet-natured, he is like a swaying branch.

    When time granted him to me one night, my passion

    Wore me away as it increased, and I told him:

    "You have kindled your fire within my heart."

    "No wonder," he replied, "when sweeper turns stoker."

 

Each one of my guests has in full measure what entertains and amuses.' Then he added: `But hearing is not the same as seeing. Were you to choose to come to our party, both you and we would prefer it. Don't go to the friends you are thinking of visiting, for you are still showing the traces of your illness and it may be that you will find yourself with chatterboxes who talk about what is no concern of theirs, and you might find some inquisitive fellow there who would give you a headache while you are still depressed as a result of your illness.' `Another time, perhaps,' I said, with an angry laugh. Then I added: `Finish your job and let me go under the protection of Almighty God, while you go to your friends who are expecting you.' `Master,' he said, `I only want to let you enjoy the company of these clever people, men of good background, none of them being long-winded or inquisitive. From my earliest days, I have never been able to associate with anyone who asks about what is no concern of his; my only associates are men of few words like me. If you came to meet them and saw them one single time, you would abandon all your own companions.' `May God complete your happiness with them,' I said, `and one day I must certainly come to meet them.'

`May that be today,' he replied. `If you make up your mind to go with me to my friends, let me take your generous gifts, but if you have to go to your own friends today, I shall carry away the gifts and leave them with my companions, who can start eating and drinking without waiting for me. Then I can come back for you and go with you to your friends. I don't stand on ceremony with mine, as this might stop me leaving them and coming back to you quickly and going with you wherever you want to go.' `There is no might and no power except with God, the Exalted, the Almighty!' I exclaimed. `Off you go to your own friends and enjoy yourself with them and let me go to mine, who are expecting me, so that I can be with them today.' The barber said: `I cannot let you go by yourself.' `No one but I can enter the place where I am going,' I told him, which prompted him to say: `I think that you have an assignation with some woman, for otherwise you would be taking me with you, and yet I am the most suitable of people to help you get what you want. I am afraid, however, that you may want to meet some foreign woman, at the cost of your life. For this is Baghdad and no one can do things like that here, especially on a day like this, and the wali is a very stern man.' `You foul old fellow,' I said, `take yourself off!' `Why are you talking to me like this, you silly man?' he replied. `I'm ashamed to listen to you. You're hiding something from me; I know it; I'm certain of it, and I only wanted to help you today.'

 

    I became afraid that my family and my neighbours might hear what he was saying, and so I fell into a deep silence. We had reached the hour of the Friday prayer, and the sermon was due by the time that he had finished cutting my hair. I told him to take the food and the drink to his friends, saying that I would wait for him until he came back, when he could go with me. I went on flattering and trying to mislead the damned man, in the hope that he might leave me, but he said: `You're trying to deceive me so that you can go alone and involve yourself in a disaster from which you won't be able to escape. For God's sake, don't leave until I get back, so that I can go with you, to see how your affair turns out.' `Yes,' I said, `but don't be long.'

 

    He then took all the food, the drink and the rest of what I had given him, and left my house. But what the wretched fellow did was to give all this to a porter to take to his house, while he himself hid in a lane nearby. I got up at once, as the muezzin had already finished the service, put on my clothes and went out. I then came to the lane and stopped at the house where I had seen the girl. There I found the old woman waiting for me, and I went up with her to the floor on which the girl lived. My entry, however, coincided with the return of the master of the house from Friday prayers. He came into the hall and shut the door, and when I looked out of the window, I saw this very same barber ­ God damn him sitting by the door, and I asked myself: `How did this devil know where I was?'

 

    It happened just then, as God intended my secret to be uncovered, that a maidservant had committed some fault. The master of the house beat her, and when she shrieked, a slave rushed to her rescue. He for his part was also beaten and he, too, cried out. The damned barber thought that it was I who was being beaten, and so he shouted, tore his clothes and poured earth on his head. He continued to yell and cry for help until he was surrounded by a crowd. He kept repeating: `My master has been killed in the qadi's house,' and then, still shouting, he went to my house, followed by the crowd. He told my family and my servants, and before I knew what was happening, there they came with their clothes torn and their hair loosed, crying: `Woe for our master!' In the forefront was the barber, with his torn clothes and his cries, accompanied by the crowd. My family kept on shouting and so did he from among the front ranks of the crowd. Crying: `Woe, woe, for the murdered man!' they made for the house where I was.

 

    Hearing the disturbance and the shouting at his door, the qadi told one of his servants to see what the matter was. The man came out and then went back to his master and said: `Sir, there are more than ten thousand people, men and women, at the door. They are shouting: "Woe for the murdered man!" and pointing at our house.' When the qadi heard this, he thought that this was a monstrous business and, getting up angrily, he went to open the door. He was astonished to see the huge crowd and asked them what the matter was. `You damned man, you dog, you pig!' shouted my servants. `You have killed our master.' `What has your master done that I should kill him?' he asked...

 

Morning now dawned and Shahrazad broke off from what she had been allowed to say. Then, when it was the thirty-first night, SHE CONTINUED: